How to feel like a whole person again
Break-ups can be very painful and can give you immense heartache. You feel shattered in literal sense as if broken into pieces. No one wants a break-up but if its happened to you here are a few tips to help on how to feel like a whole again.
Accept the situation
Its happened and you cant change it. Don’t get obsessive about trying to fit the situation and try to get your ex back in your life. Think about the situation evenly with your head rather than your heart. Sit down and considering all the reasons for your break-up. When you do this it will help you realize that there were multiple good reasons for this break-up; two of you were not compatible enough and this relationship would have ended eventually. So it is better that it ended sooner than you wanted it to be. In this process of self-realization don’t blame yourself for the break-up. Often in such situations, both the partners are at fault and its key to see how both parties contributed to the breakup.
Close the chapter
After a break-up it is not wise to keep seeing each other even if the two of you have decided to stay friends. You have to keep your space and not see him, which means not seeing him, not visiting his family, any phone calls, emails, chat messages or Face book messages. If you keep seeing him or are in contact with him, you will keep reliving your past and it will become difficult for you to overcome the pain of the break-up. This is very important to get yourself back in senses and to feel like a whole person again.
As already mentioned, there is a tendency during this phase to blame yourself. You want to take all the responsibility of the break-up and will start hating yourself. Though accepting your mistakes is healthy, but this does not mean that your relationship broke only because of you. You should accept yourself as a good person; you should think positively about yourselves and love yourself. Relationships do end and break-ups do happen, but that should become the cause of hating your own self.
Talk to your friends and family members
Family members and friends form a great support system and you should not hesitate to ask for their help. They are the ones who love you unconditionally and you require this love during this phase. Their love and care can help you in dealing with the situation and you will find it easier to get out of this phase and feel like a whole person again.
Do not be forgiving (at this stage)
Remember you can only be yourself by forgetting your ex and not blaming yourself for the break-up. You have to stick to this reason and the best way to do this is to enlist all the things your ex had done to break the relationship. So for now, you have to be ruthless and not forgiving. This is done to create a picture which describes your ex as the culprit and not you. Write down everything, how you felt due to his behavior reiterating the fact that you never want to feel the same again. Whenever you are tempted to call your ex or contact him in any other way, just read aloud these reasons. Think that you have been tortured and you do not want to get tortured again.
Get rid of memory triggers
It is always better to get rid of any triggers that take you down to the memory lane. Reliving the experience can be very painful and will not help you heal the trauma of a break-up. Remove any such things which remind you of your ex.
A break-up can be a really tough time which no individual wants to encounter. But if it happens, then, you should always keep in mind that it is just a part of your life and not an end to your life- you will get through this.
You just have to get things back on track- one day at a time..