How to not hate yourself after your break-up
A break-up can be very traumatic especially if you are those types of individuals who tend to take on the burden of guilt and start hating yourself. To hate yourself after a break-up is nothing but self-harm that you do in reaction to the situation you are not able to handle. What should you do so that you do not hate yourself after your break-up?
The foremost aspect which will help you in your efforts to not hate yourself is to love yourself. We as individuals are so engrossed in finding love outside, in loving others that we forget to love our own selves. You should always remember this fact that you have to first love yourself before being loved. If you can develop the habit of loving yourself (having strong self esteem)- you will free yourself from the shackles of being needy of affirmation from others and no peoples negative or critical opinion of you will ever have the power to derail you from feeling good about yourself ever again.
With a bit of persistence loving your own self is an art that can be learnt easily with a little effort & practice. Regularly stand in front of a mirror and look at your image with self appreciation. Acknowledge and admire good things about yourself; you so loving and caring, you keep yourself neat and clean; there are many things in you which you can love yourself for. Remember all the positive things in yourself regularly and you will gradually forget the hatred you have developed after a break-up.
Take care of yourself
Usually after a break-up you are so shattered emotionally, that you even forget to take care of yourself. You do not eat properly, do not groom yourself, do no exercise; you lose the discipline in your life. Taking care of your body becomes more important after a broken relationship; it helps to maintain your confidence, your self esteem. If you find hard to follow an exercise regimen, it is advisable to enroll in a group yoga or aerobics class. Exercise in itself is therapeutic and if you feel good about your body, a feeling of self admiration automatically develops in you.
Keep yourself surrounded by positive people
Your own behavior towards your own self is very much dependent on the behavior of individuals that surround you. It is extremely important to be with people who love you and care for you. It is advisable to move with your family during this phase of life. Surround yourself with friends who admire you for what you are. Family members and friends are a great support system who will help you in not hating and blaming yourself after your break-up.
Think positive and accept the reality
The reason why you start hating yourself after a break-up is that you are not able to accept the fact that your ex is no longer with you. You obsess on the reasons for the break-up and when no answers are found, you blame yourself for everything. You should understand that you are not the only person in this world who has to go through this phase of life. Failure of a relationship does not mean that you are not worthy. It is similar to failure in any aspect of life such as academics, business etc. Just give it some time to heal. You have to be patient for it to heal. This break-up was destined to happen. Moreover, everything that happens is for some good reason, even though the reasons may be very clear initially.
Self hatred is the last thing you should do after a break-up as it can be self destructive and will hinder in the normal grieving process..