Learning how to deal with your ex in social situations can be quite a challenge. Especially if your break up has left you feeling lonely and majorly depressed. It’s kind of important not to end up friendless as well. Quite the challenge if you share a social circle with your ex. So what do you do?
Well its imperative that the first thing you must do is show yourself to be that: Happy, fun, jovial person you used to be.
You want to appear cool calm & collected when you see them- but inside your feeling nothing of the sort- so how do you achieve that composure when they say “hi”? I know, I know, your totally crying on the inside but its crucial on the outside you show yourself to be that cool, composed, happy person that has totally moved on.
In that moment your job is to to believe that and act as if its true-even if you dont. Pretend if you have to (which you probably will!).
Pretend will all your heart & soul!
The last thing you want to do if give your ex the satisfaction of knowing that you cant live your life without them and are desperate to get them back.
Appearing desperate, needy and depressive is not attractive and pretending not to be is actually the first vital step to not being so.
I know you dont feel like it right now, but deep down inside you there still is that happy, whole person. The one that knows how to laugh, to have fun, to just enjoy the moment. You just have to start the journey of remembering how it feels like to be her/him again. Start being them again.
So today will be that day.
If on seeing them you really start to feel low thinking about them and start to want them back. A little incentive to keep yourself together, remember if you are feeling like you are missing them when you look at them being all “happy” and “i’ve moved on with my life” , its becuse they are reminding you of the person you fell in love with. The fun, happy side without all the arguments and annoyances.
Firstly remember this is just a fascade. Dont get mezmerised by this – nothings changed they are still that person that hurt you. Dont get sucked in!
Also at the very least you want some power back and at least want them to go away wondering abut you. if they see you in a way that is all “happy” “fun” “easy going” there’s a good chance they will go away thinking about you too. You’ll remind them of the “You” they knew and fell for in the first place- without all the relationship problems. It will get them missing you too.
Not that is why your doing this- but its great little bonus if it happens!
In the short term, the reality is it’s totally gonna hurt seeing them. Seeing them is going to remind you of everything you’ve lost. Its going to be painful. You will see them being all normal, happy and fun with other people and feel hurt at the fact that they are no longer like that with you. That you cant be like that with them. They’re going to act all cold and distant and its going to remind you of how things just are not the same. Its going to hurt having them around you but be different. Its going to remind you of how they just how much you miss how things used to be.
But things are different. Its over and you no longer are together. Its tough having to accept that but the quicker you do- the easier it will get..