Stop! Don’t Call Your Ex!

It is not easy to be asked to forget someone from one day to another without having the right or the opportunity to ask questions , give your side of the story and truly understand what happened.

Breaking up abruptly or without achieving any kind of reasonable understanding of why it was so is definately in my expereince the No. 1 obsitacle to attain a sense of healthy closure about a past relationship/ex.

Without receiving answers to your pending questions such as “why it is that it did not work out in the end”, “what if i had been different?” , “where did it all go wrong?” as these thoughts consume your mind wanting, trying to be answered, moving on from one day to the next can be very difficult.

So in order to stop the round and round thinking and get closure its essential to get closure on these unanswered questions. So how can you go about doing that?

Well its going to be very tempting to want to call your ex in order to get answers or explanations from them. If your still very emotionally about your ex its probbaly not the best idea to do this (just yet).

Your going to be angry, upset, perhaps even demanding and thats definatley not the best emotional place to be in to have such a emotionally delicate conversation. The last thing you want to do is get into a new argument.

Your ex will still have the power to hurt you further by saying things you just aren’t really to hear.

In fact, unless you know they also have attained a level of emotional coolness for themselves about the relationship, created by a healthy amount of distance between the two of you, they may not be able to answer those questions for you with a detached attitude; which, may lead to them, even if unintentionally, hurting you even more so and setting you back even further in your road to moving on from the past.

So, unless you are sure that they have found peace with the situation, and you have both had some serious reflection time, it is better not to ask them directly, as it may only result in perpetuating those negative feelings associated with the break up, and stimulate the hurt of the experience all over again.

Don’t put yourself through that. Don’t create an opportunity for them to hurt you even more. Think about how much you hurt now and the thought of that being worsened by the end of a conversation? Should be enough to put you off.

You deserve to have your questions answered and you will.

Don’t convince yourself that time is now. Its not.